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The Bastard Preacher

Blurb

If there are truly evil people in the world, Jamie Lee Vincent would be a prime suspect.

Smooth and handsome, sociopath, Jamie Lee Vincent decides there's easy money in religion after attending a big tent revival in his home town of Tyler, Texas. Catching the interest of Reverend Sonny Riverton's youngest daughter, the lovely and vivacious Missy, he charms his way into her bed and in short order the Riverton clan.

Utilizing his charm and natural-born talent for chicanery, Jamie Lee takes over the ministry, and when his popularity soars finds himself among the most revered of television preachers. However, the wealth, fame, sex and power he now enjoys isn’t enough—nothing is ever enough!

 

Excerpt

Jamie Lee was nervous as a cat locked in a dog kennel as he waited offstage for the reverend to get around to introducing him. When he and Missy had arrived, she and the director briefed him on what he was supposed to do, act and say. Next, he underwent one-hour hairstyle and make-up sessions, after which he changed into a wardrobe someone had provided for him.

He studied as much of the live audience as he could see from where he stood. They seemed friendly enough.

Of course they’re friendly, they’re the flock. A truer term couldn’t have been written in the bible. They were like a gathering of sheep, believing everything they were told and one day he’d be doing the telling.

“Dear Christians, we have a brand new reborn sinner with us today. I’m proud to say my daughter, Missy, personally saved this young man, so I’m going to let her tell you about it.”

He stepped to the side and the spotlight shifted to her. “Ooh, this is so exciting.” She paused while the audience clapped. “First, I’ll tell you aboutit and then I’ll introduce him. I was with Michael, Bobbie Sue and her husband Grant on a tent revival in Tyler, Texas when I met Jamie Lee. From theminute I saw him, I knew he was a sinner. He was smug and arrogant, but he had a presence about him, a magnetism that couldn’t be ignored and Ithought, wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone with his charisma could be brought to the side of God.

“He’d never been to a revival, so I invited him and he came. Well folks, he must have felt the spirit of the Lord, for when it came time to be saved, he stood up. Well I’ll tell you, for everyday sinners, our tent revival baptism works fine, but our boy was a serious sinner and I suspected the Lord wanted me to give him the V.B.S. treatment.” She winked and went on, “That’s Very Big Sinner treatment,” She was interrupted by laughter and clapping. When it calmed down she proceeded, “so I had him sit down until the revival was over and then with the help of Bill our muscle bound Sergeant at Arms, I filled a bathtub full of holy water and gave him the full Soldiers of the Lord treatment.

Again, she was interrupted by laughter and applause. “Well, I have to tell you folks, the concentrated spirit of God’s loving grace was so strong, we both felt ecstasy.”

Jamie Lee couldn’t help but snicker on the ecstasy part.

“Anyway, Jamie Lee became so overwrought with emotion, he couldn’t thank me enough, and he went on to say he wanted to dedicate his life to Christ. And so I present to you, God’s newest convert. Folks, how about a nice round of applause to make Jamie Lee Vincent feel welcome.”

Jamie Lee ran out on the stage waving and smiling as if he was already a star. The standing ovation was deafening, prolonged, and seemed to increase as he kissed Missy on the cheek. He grabbed a mic from the stand and said, “Thank you, thank you.” The clapping diminished, but didn’t stop. He shouted over it, “Thank you. I feel great! How about you?” More loud applause died a little when he gave the quiet down sign by holding his right hand out and lowering it. “Like Missy told you, my name is Jamie Lee Vincent, and ladies and gentlemen, I have been saved! It’s a great feeling knowing you walk in God’s grace and I owe it all to our little honey, Missy Riverton.” Standing sustained applause followed his pronouncement.

When the audience quieted, he continued, “My hero,” Jamie Lee hitched his head toward the reverend, who was still on stage to his left, “Reverend Sonny Riverton, has given me the opportunity to bear witness to all of you. To testify about God’s acceptance and forgiveness. Folks, I was lost. I always got into trouble, couldn’t find a decent job, I was obsessed with the pleasures of the flesh, and I even toked a little hash.“ Laughter filtered from the crowd. “Then again things could have been worse considering I started out life in the hole. Folks, if I stick around as I hope to, y’all will find out anyway, so I’m going to get it out in the open—I’m a bastard. Folks, I was born to a teenage mother out of wedlock, the product of rape.”

It seemed as if there was one huge gasp and then someone hit the mute button on the audience. Jamie Lee worried that he’d blown it. After ten seconds of silence, one brave soul started clapping. Immediately, another joined in, followed by ten more, and soon everyone clapped, then everyone stood. Someone yelled, “Jamie Le-e-e, Jamie Le-e-e.” Soon everyone joined in the chant. At that moment, he knew he owned the audience and he was amazed at how easy it was.

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